The Espresso of Olympus
by She-Wolf
Summary: What happens when several of our favorite teen heroes get into the caffeine of the gods? Who will be able to slow them down, let alone survive? One shot


Typical stuff: Class of the Titans belongs to Studio B, not me. I'm just having some fun playing with their toys.

**The Espresso of Olympus**

"So you see, by adding a little bit of zinc oxide to some crushed flowers of Eros, the resulting aroma can be used to..."

Odie listened as Dionysus continued to ramble over his latest mixture, careful of course to stand at a safe distance away from the concoction in hand, least he actually inhale some of the fumes. While the god of wine and, more recently, chemistry, was a mad genius of the chemical field, it was the madness that made Odie more than a little weary. His complete indifferent attitude towards explosions and otherwise dangerous chemical reactions might have been fine for an immortal, but as a very proud, very living human, Odie had no intentions of suffering burn marks, growing another head, or generally needing immediate medical care anytime soon. The descendant of the mighty Odysseus knew well enough that there would be plenty of opportunities for that later, given the number of mythological beasts that managed to pop out of the woodwork these days. Still, Dionysus was a clever god in his own right, and Odie silently admitted it was worth catching up with him in the deity's lab. As a Greek god working in the scientific field, Dionysus knew more about chemical reactions among elements that could only be found in hard-to-reach areas. Elements such as those found in the Underworld, for example.

A rapping sound from the other end of the lab interrupted Odie's thoughts, as he turned his head in the direction of the noise.

"Come in!" Dionysus hollered, not bothering to give a glance up. "Oh Hermes, if that's you, that new batch of foot ointment is still in the works. Just give it another hour for the formula to mature and I'll refill your jar."

"Actually, it's just us," a friendly base voice answered, as the lab's massive doors opened up and gave way to five heroic youths. At the lead was a boy far larger than the others, bouncing a white ball against the marble flooring. Beside him stepped a lankier teen with purple-died hair in a blue jump suit, followed by two girls of different height & hairstyles. Both girls walked in casually checking out the room's decor, while a blond boy behind them gazed with admiration at his own mirror's reflection.

Herry gave a final bounce of his ball before playfully spinning it on his finger. "Hey Odie! Up for a little Saturday volleyball? The rest of us were thinking of making a trip down to the beach for a few games."

"Yeah," Atlanta, behind Herry, chimed in. "It's a great day out there, and totally perfect conditions for a game. We've got five of us going, so we could really use a sixth to keep things even."

Odie chuckled internally. Although he would be the first to admit he wasn't the best around at most sports, playing a friendly game or two out in the open would be a good break... not to mention the fresh air's elimination of any fumes he accidentally inhaled. Still... hitting a ball over a net against someone like Harry... "Sounds like fun, but I'm not exactly the best at net sports. At least, not ones so high off the ground."

Theresa waved him off. "Don't worry, you'll do fine. It's Herry, you and I against Atlanta, Archie and Neil. Herry and I can take the speed demons, but we could use your brains to offset Neil's perpetual good luck streak."

"Neil's going?" Odie raised an eyebrow in mock shock. " Don't tell me he's actually willing to mess up his hair?"

"With my good luck, all will be fine. Besides," Neil closed his mirror with a click and checked his nails absently, "my photographer said they'd like to do a few summer beach shots soon, and I could use a little extra work on the tan." As he spoke, the blond started to meander through the tables, observing his own reflection in the various pieces of glassware. Passing one large shinny flask, he basked in the sight of his own creamy skin. "Frankly I don't see how anything could improve this perfection, but a quarter-shade darker might accent my highlights better and contrast with some of the swim trunks I'll be displaying into the fashion world."

"Just promise us all if they put you in a 'fruit hammock' the posters stay at the agency." Archie muttered. Behind him, Atlanta and Theresa's eyes went wide at the thought, before each gave a little shudder of disgust.

"Now there's a mental picture I didn't need after breakfast." Atlanta winced.

As Odie cringed at Archie's 'comment', which thankfully Neil had chosen to ignore, Herry came up at his side, slapping an arm around him in a comrade-in-arms fashion. "Come on Odie, it'll be fun! A little sun, a little fresh air..." whispering conspiratorially to the shorter body, Herry leaned down to keep his voice low, "a little fun getting Neil's face in the sand..."

Odie stifled a laugh at Herry's game plan: that settled the matter. "All right, you guys talked me into it: I'm in." He looked around at his friends, and noticed however, that one key member of their group was missing. "Wait, you said six... what about Jay? Isn't he playing?" It certainly seemed like an activity their team leader would enjoy.

"You know Jay: he headed out earlier for a private sail," Archie confirmed. "He said he'll meet us later, either at the beach or back at the Brownstone. From there we can break and maybe catch a little lunch together."

"A little lunch?" Herry inquired, his hand rubbing across his midsection.

"Okay, big lunch." Archie winked knowingly at Atlanta, who shared a grin. "We'll make it losers buy for the winners."

"Oh, you are so getting your butts kicked now," smirked Theresa, stepping towards the purple haired teen as she joined in on the challenge.

Odie smacked his hands together in eager anticipation. Elements of the Elysian Fields could wait: clearly it was time for a little Sunday smack down. He silently hoped though, that with Herry and Theresa guarding him, he wouldn't be one of the teens getting smacked. "Take the ball and let's move: it's time to hit the beach!" Turning to his host, the god's attention remaining centralized upon his current project, Odie gave a polite wave. "I'll have to look around some other time Dionysus. Later!"

"Don't be a stranger!" The god waved in return, adding two drops of unknown pollen to another solution. The result was a short fizzle of red, and a short set of notes on the reaction written with warp speed.

As the heroes of destiny started their exit however, Neil stopped short at one last table display. In a far corner of the lab, set delicately away from most of the equipment, was a polished brass platter, several items placed neatly upon its surface, with a larger container to the side.

"Hey, what's this?" The model pointed to the object beside the patter, a large jug resting over a round portable hot plate, low heat emanating from the centre to lightly warm the container and contents above. The curiosity in his voice, unusual for someone who otherwise spoke with little but confidence, peaked the attention of the other teens, who all gathered around to see what had caught his eye.

Unlike the other various containers and test tubes around, the jug was not clear or covered, nor lacking decoration. Rather, it was an ornate piece, made of thick ceramics rather than glass, with a clean black image of Dionysus in his glory days and a pattern of waves around the top frame. The black paint shined, reflecting small amounts of light in the room against its smooth surface. Inside was a brown, opaque liquid, still steaming hot. "It looks like... coffee?"

"The ultimate coffee," Dionysus explained, his voice full of pride. "It's my personal brew, perfected after centuries of testing. I use natural nymph-enhanced spring water and blessed bean plants to give it finer flavor." The god took a moment away from his current experiment to puff up his chest, recalling the testing process, and subsequent reaction from the other Olympians. While his delicate wines and heavy spirits were renowned as the gods' favored of his creations, the brown brew came in as a close second. "I got the idea ages ago, using ingredients only immortals can get to perfect a clean brew that first made its way from Ethiopia. It's a nice morning pepper-upper! Much better than anything you'll find at the supermarket, I guarantee!"

"Mmmm, smells good!" Herry leaned over the boiling brew, his mouth starting to water. On the platter beside, he took note of several mugs, each decorated in a manner similar to the antique coffee pot, how utterly and wonderfully convenient.

"Mind if we have a taste?" Atlanta picked up a cup and handed another to Theresa.

"Yeah," Archie seconded the motion, "I could use a new blend." If there was one thing Archie could appreciate, it was good coffee. Sometimes he wondered if it was the only thing that kept him awake when Ares insisted on a surprise sunrise drill.

"Help yourselves! There's more than enough brewing right now." Dionysus waved absently before returning to his latest calculations.

"Uhhh, guys, I don't know if that's a great idea." Odie muttered, eyebrows half raised as Herry poured himself a cup and passed it along to the others. Having spent the better half of an hour watching various brews being mixed and the results, he wasn't certain anything in Dionysus's lab should be ingested.

"Mmmmm-mmmmm!" Atlanta took a sip. "Feels like a great idea to me! This thing's flavor is awesome!"

"Here Odie, just try a little." Theresa handed a cup to Odie, who stared blankly at the brown concoction. Absently, he viewed his friends as they happily downed the brown liquid, smiles on all faces. It certainly didn't look dangerous... more like something that could be found back in his father's mug every morning... and so far no one had exploded or turned indigo yet. Perhaps a little bit would be a nice treat.

He drank it down and gasped as the heated liquid hit his senses. It was good! Real goooooooood.

"See, it's harmless! Relax Odie," Neil waved the black boy off as he poured a mug of his own. "Its just coffee. What could happen?"

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It was early in the afternoon when Jay found himself walking back casually to the Brownstone. High top sneakers met with solid pavement as a cool breeze drifted through the town streets. New Olympia wasn't the biggest city in Canada, but it wasn't the smallest either: on a whole, Jay found the place small enough to be comfortable and easygoing, while large enough to attract welcome facilities, such as a large mall, movie theatre and zoo. It provided a small town community without any boredom, although Jay supposed that being bored was one thing he never had to worry about. Between good friends, saving the world and schoolwork, he had plenty on his plate to keep him occupied.

The morning's earlier catamaran excursion had definitely been the right occupation today, putting him in high spirits, which he hoped would last the rest of the afternoon. The ride had been pure bliss, a perfect weekend distraction to take his mind off its worries and set him at ease. While not all of his friends had their sea legs yet, Herry and more prominently Archie among them, for Jay nothing beat racing through the water; sometimes he wondered if his ancestor had felt the same way. With the rising sun warming his face, the wind whipping through his hair and the sound of the waves against his craft, sailing relaxed him like almost nothing else could. Although he usually preferred to do activities with his friends, this time he found it nice to take a break just for himself. He loved sailing with his friends, but sometimes he simply enjoyed going it alone. With others, there was hearty gossip, warm smiles and the sensation of sharing something he loved; alone the waves took him to a place where he could reflect, with time to feel the water against his craft, enjoy the many different stimulus of his senses, and clear his head before returning to all things of High School and Cronus.

Cronus: his friends often commented Jay had developed an obsession against their enemy, and sometimes, privately, Jay would agree. Thinking up new ways to take down the god did take up a lot of his time, and he certainly wanted them all to be ready whenever he struck again. It was hard to ignore the threat, not with some of the monsters he'd tried to kill them with. Several plots nearly worked, sending Jay to his deathbed and making Odie disappear from time altogether. The nightmares of waking up one morning to find the world under the evil god's control, to be unprepared and watch his friends be decimated before his eyes kept him up some nights. However, he wouldn't stop living his life now because of what might happen tomorrow. Theresa, flowers wrapped around her slender neck, leading him into a dance of island rhythms on a sunset beach, had reminded him that there was no shame in taking time to enjoy what they wished to protect.

Today's trip on the water had been another way of doing exactly that. Although the ride hadn't opened his creativity to any new ideas on how to capture the wayward deity, it did present him with a sense of inner peace and confidence. They were the chosen ones, and one way or another they would find a way to see Cronus defeated, no question. It was simply a matter of the god's own time before they entangled him alone or in one of his own plots. The world would be saved, so as long as Jay had anything to say about it.

Stepping lively, his pleasant thoughts were interrupted by a familiar beeping as a voice activated on his PMR.

"JAY! JAY! Where are you man?!" Archie's panicked voice echoed into the air, stirring the strategist's thoughts from pleasant ones to instant worry.

"Archie!" Snatching up the portable blue device from its typical resting place at the hip, Jay spoke into the component. "What is it? What's going on?"

"We've got trouble on our hands! BIG trouble! You've got to get down to the school, pronto!"

Amazing how a simple string of sentences can ruin a wonderful mood.

All earlier thoughts of returning to the Brownstone aside, Jay bolted into a swift run. "I'm on my way, just hold on!" Jay's blood went cold, visions of his friends in danger suddenly overcoming his mind. "Is it Cronus? Has he attacked anyone?" Hades help the evil god if he had done anything to one of his friends. Jay had defied death once with his determination: if necessary, he would do so again.

"Worse," Archie's voice cracked out like a miffed sob, "much worse." This almost brought Jay's running to a standstill. Something worse than Cronus? He resumed his pace however, at Archie's instant plea. "You've got to get down here and see for yourself! We need your help!"

Jay didn't waste any more time, moving as fast as his legs could carry him while taking every cross-country shortcut and back alley time saver that he possibly could think of. In the back of his mind, fear sprang over the horrible possibilities. What had happened? Was there a new monster on the loose? Although few beasts could match those already faced, Jay was more than willing to admit the likelihood of others out there. The Kraken alone had been just one more beast of folklore that truly did exist, far worse in person than in any sailor's tale. What of the others? Had someone been wounded, injured... killed? Theresa, Herry, Odie, Neil, Atlanta... were they all right? Hera, Athena, Hermes... was something wrong with one of them?

Opening school doors (thank goodness for the never-locking back entrance) and racing over steps, the heroic teen made his way to the janitor's closet. Inserting his unique key, he opened the door and turned on the light, activating the shimmering blue portal that led to the more sacred inner sanctums. As a clang of metal and screams of terror filled his senses, in a panic Jay pulled out his xiphos and jumped through the light.

What greeted him on the other end was definitely not what he expected.

In the past year, Jay had seen a lot of strange things. He'd been chosen by the gods to stop a greater evil from taking over the world. He'd been banished to a desert island by his ancestor's ex-girlfriend and used skeleton warriors to fight a tribe of Amazons. He'd gone toe-to-toe against numerous monsters. However, the sight that greeted him in the Titan Wing Foyer was by far the most unusual yet. It wasn't every day after all, that one saw the god of war running in terror for his life.

It was even less common to see him flee from one of his students, even if set student was a fully capable warrior in her own right. The god of war let out a girlish scream as a massive pair of blades made their way closer to his form.

"Theresa!" Jay yelped. At least, the red headed girl hot on Ares heals looked like the resident psychic. She had the same long locks, same emerald eyes and tall, slender build. However, never before had he seen such raw fury in those irises, such a completely killer expression written across her face. The twin blades in her hands were also a new addition, their sharp edges deflecting the room's light keenly. It was clear that if Ares still had hair on the top of his scalp, it would have been sliced off earlier. Assuming of course, he could keep far away from the broad strokes and avoid loosing his head from his shoulders altogether.

"JAY!" The god of war yelped, ducking behind the statue of Zeus as a keen slice narrowly missed his arteries, "get this crazy nut away from me before she does something she'll really regret! I may have promised Hera I wouldn't turn any of you kids into four-legged critters when you enrolled, but that doesn't mean I can't punish for generations! I- " the god jumped on top of the statue as another pair of hits came all too close to vital areas.

"DIE ARES! Shiiii-yi-yi!" Theresa did a flip, landing on Zeus's gold head, and Ares dropped to the floor, bolting for the exit.

Allowing Archie's mentor to pass through unscathed, Jay swallowed hard as he dug his feet firmly in the ground, holding his sword with one hand while keeping the other outstretched in a calming gustier. As Theresa stepped up to him she continued to follow the god of war with her eyes, but made no move to harm Jay.

"Out of my way," she growled, spinning the swords effortlessly in her hands.

"Whoa! Theresa, what's gotten into you? What did Ares do to make you so upset?" Given Ares usual nature, Jay supposed it wasn't impossible for him to have said or done something particularly insensitive, but most of the Titans knew to take such times in stride. Besides, while their experience against Hecate had been close, the fearless leader couldn't recall the last time he'd seen Theresa so upset. Although he supposed if it had been something really stupid he might allow passage, few scenarios went through his mind without her current reaction being classified as definitely overkill.

Jay took a step towards the psychic spiritualist, one hand lowering his sword slightly while the other continued to announce peaceful intent as he attempted to take her by the arm and gently calm her down. "Easy Theresa, just relax and put..." his articulation became slow, deliberate and soothing, "...the... swords... down." It was the first time in his life he had ever recalled saying the phrase, although given the massive numbers of warriors and monsters he and the others fought on a frequent basis, perhaps it was long overdue.

Unfortunately, at his touch her eyes locked on his, anger and outrage in her face as she raised her arm and deftly rejected the outreach attempt.

"Theresa? Who is this Theresa?"

Definitely not the reaction he had been expecting.

"Theresa what do you-? I mean, you, you're Theresa! You know, descendant of Theseus, current teen fighter with some clairvoyance ability?" Jay waved his free hand about helplessly.

"Ha!" Theresa flicked her hair back and stood proud. "I know of Theseus, but there's no relation between us. I am Xena, warrior princess!" she declared, spinning her swords wildly. Jay ducked just before they made contact, narrowly missing his face by a hind's breath.

"XENA?!!" Jay jumped back again as another swing headed his way.

"Shi-yii!" Theresa performed a leap kick that narrowly caught Jay at the chest, forcing him to roll back in a defensive position. "Out of my way!" Theresa yelled. "Ares is up to something, I know it!"

"Ummm, Ther- er, Xena, I don't think you need to worry about Ares." Jay continued to speak calmly, ignoring the little voice inside his own mind that said this was total lunacy. He'd help her settle first, then race after who or whatever caused this mental lapse.

"Of course I need to be worried!" 'Xena' pulled a pose. "He's the god of war! He lives from bloodshed! No doubt right now he's working on something fiendish to create mayhem across Greece, or seduce me back to being a warlord." There was something about that last part that gave Jay an uncomfortable feeling. It was a mix between a need to retch and... jealous anger? Pushing such thoughts away, he returned to the task at hand.

"You can't go after him now." He raised his sword, preparing for a quick block.

"Why not?" The death glare in Theresa's eyes and the venom in her voice told Jay he had better have a good reason for the hold up.

_/Because he's probably hiding under a couch somewhere balling his eyes out/_

Jason's descendant wisely opted not to share that information. Instead he took a page out of Neil's book:

He thought up an excuse, and he thought it up quick.

"Because I, um, we need you!" He breathed out. Theresa raised an eyebrow, but stepped back and crouched, lowering her blades slightly.

"Why?" Her deadpanned vocals suggested she wasn't convinced.

"I, uh, I come from a village not far from here, one in desperate need of your help." Right, Jay internally muttered, suddenly wishing Neil really was around. Some of the blonde's uncanny good luck would come in handy right about now. "Uhhh, a warlord! A really vicious warlord is threatening to burn our village to cinders! We've heard only the infamous warrior princess can stop their army."

Theresa narrowed her eyes. "Who?"

"Who do you think?" Jay answered as diplomatically as he could.

"Callisto!" Theresa hissed. "That pyromaniac vixen! Lead me to this village."

"Right this way." Jay pointed to one of the hallways. "But the path is pretty tough to navigate. You'd better take my hand." No way no how he wanted to risk her getting away from him, and going postal on any of the other deities around.

"Very well," Theresa muttered, grasping his hand as they marched together towards Chiron's steady.

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Chiron was stressed. It wasn't easy to tell: in all of their time working together, Jay had only on very rare occasions gotten a glimpse of the centaur with anything other than his typical cool collectedness. Last time he had witnessed some serious stamping had only been when Jay himself had lain on his deathbed. This time however, it was different: between his left hand running anxiously through a long grey main and the hole his circling threatened to make in the floor, it was clear that something was on his mind, something deeply troubling. Jay only hoped that it wasn't a sign the beast master had lost his mind in much the same manner as Theresa.

"Something wrong Chiron?" Jay's voice was hesitant as he pulled Theresa through the open doors of the study.

"Jay!" Chiron trotted up to the duo as quickly as he could. "Thank goodness you're back! And you've managed to get a hold of Theresa!"

"Yeah," Jay muttered as he released the hand, allowing 'Xena' to look around, "but what on earth is wrong with her? When I walked in she was threatening to slice Ares into ribbons. She keeps saying she's this warrior princess, and asking about someone named 'Gabrielle'."

Chiron placed one of his hands to his temples and groaned, pawing the ground with his hooves. The clear clip-clop of hoof against the tile grabbed Theresa's attention. "Argo!" She spun around, eyes searching the empty walls for an unknown entity. "Argo, where are you girl?" Taking two fingers to her lips, she produced a sharp whistle, only to slump her shoulders when nothing happened.

Jay raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me it's another plague, like the one left in Pandora's box." That had been a Hades of a monster, leaving Jay and the others to mutually swear healthier lifestyles in hopes of never, ever catching so much as the common cold again.

Chiron shook his head. "I'm afraid not. This time it's the result of something she, Neil, Atlanta, Herry, Archie and Odie drank earlier. We're only blessed that you were absent, and so did not partake of it yourself. "

"Archie!" Jay held up his PMR, suddenly recalling the distress signal. "Archie called me earlier raving about something horrible happening," although, if Theresa's actions were part of the concern, he was starting to see the problem. "Is he all right?"

"Define _all right_," a sarcastic mutter caught Jay from behind. In walked the purple-haired teen, his hair soaked and cloths more than a little bedraggled. In one hand he held another's slender arm around his shoulders, one that belonged to a redhead who had clearly lost her ability to walk upright alone. With her free arm waving an empty mug, her legs waving about as if made of gelatin, Atlanta's sense of balance had clearly seen better days. Although judging by her closed eyes and the wide, smile plastered across her face, it was clear that this setback wasn't hampering her mood at all.

"_We're Cyclopes, gorgons, giants, and chimeras,_

_Drink up me hearties, yo ho!_

_We're titans and harpies, really evil demigods,_

_Drink up me hearties, yo ho!_"

Ouch. Jay resisted an urge to cover his ears. He knew both girls had a thing for Johnny Depp, but Atlanta's total off-key melody was really too much. Making eye contact with the more conscious boy at her side, he sent silent words of sympathy.

If her singing was irritating Archie, he did nothing to stop it, perhaps because keeping her on her feet was enough of a task as it stood. His right arm was clenched around her waist, although judging by his scowl and the dripping liquid that was slowly falling from his attire, it was clear he was too irritated to feel a hint of embarrassment.

Or, perhaps, he had already been embarrassed enough.

Turning to Chiron, he rolled his eyes. "I caught the wench dancing around a water fountain in Artemis's den. When she saw me she held up her sneaker, told me to raise 'em, and proceeded to force me to 'walk the plank' by knocking my ankles right out from under me. Lucky she didn't take out my brace while she was at it."

Atlanta, who Jay noticed was now missing a shoe, had opened her eyes, a slightly glazed continuance painted over her normally clear irises. When she caught sight of Jay and Chiron, her reaction was instantaneous.

"Arrr maties! Which one of ye wants to face the fearsome Captain Atlanta next? I'll send ye straight down to Poseidon's locker!" Eyes still a blur; Atlanta took another shaky step, only to be kept upright by Archie's steady force.

"Atlanta?" Jay's jaw dropped as his eyes glanced over the indisposed redhead. The huntress was out of it even more than the Pandora fiasco.

"That's Captain Atlanta to you mate!" Atlanta waved her shoe at Jay in what he supposed was a threatening gustier... if Jay had been a bare foot or a small bug.

"Err, Captain, this is the ship's doctor, the one I told you about? He can give you something to help you get your sea legs back," Archie's eyes drifted from the friend at his side to give a pleading gaze towards Chiron.

"Er, yes, I believe I may have something to help," Chiron went along with the ploy, which apparently satisfied Atlanta. To Archie, he gave a set of instructions. "See if you can her down onto one of the couches, hopefully with Jay's help we can get Theresa to do the same."

Archie smirked. "Couldn't Ares manage to handle her? She did break into his armory after all."

"Trust me," Jay chuckled under his breath as he watched 'Xena' continue her patrol around the room, "I think it'll be a while before he trusts Theresa with a blade again." His face sobered as he glanced between the two girls. "But seriously, what's going on here? What could have made them both act so... odd?"

"Coffee." Both voices and a new third answered at once.

"Coffee?" Jay raised an eyebrow as Hera stepped in behind him, her hands neatly clasped in front of her tunic. "What kind of coffee could cause a reaction like THIS?"

"I'm afraid we have Dionysus to blame for that," Hera interjected, her features forming a neat frown. "Persephone and Athena are dealing with him now, even as we speak."

A loud thunderous crack of lighting was heard not far away, followed by a high-pitched squeal for mercy. Jay winced at the sound. "Coffee," he repeated blandly in disbelief. "Dionysus's coffee."

"Dionysus's 'special blend'," Chiron clarified. "A warm and sensuous drink to be sure, but one meant for the gods, not.." he glared at Archie, "mortal teens."

"Hey, how was I suppose to know this would happen?" Archie started to help Atlanta sit down. "Here Captain, why don't you, ah, have a seat and I'll get you some... non-alcoholic rum... or something."

"Aye, hurry up ye lubber!" Atlanta raised both arms and without another word collapsed on the Greek lounge chair.

As Jay continued to stare in utter disbelief, Archie raised both his hands up in self-defense. "It looked like a normal drink! It smelled good! Dionysus said we could have a taste. How were we to know this would happen? Theresa didn't even have one of her mystic predictions!"

"That coffee," Hera clarified, her voice grave, "contains an abnormal amount of caffeine. More than any mortal can handle." She rolled her eyes. "Zeus loves it because it gives him his morning kick. For you heroes however..." her hands waved towards Theresa and Atlanta, "the consequences of it's effect on your bloodstream are completely out of control and unpredictable."

"I can see that." Jay wondered if Chiron had any aspirin to deal with the headache starting to form. "Wait..." his eyes went wide, and he turned towards Archie, "..if everyone drank it, why aren't you affected?"

"Natural immunity, thank the gods."

"And, I'm afraid to ask this," Jay glanced once more at Atlanta, "but does this mean everyone else is...?"

"I'm afraid so." His mentor answered, a touch of weariness hinted in her words.

Archie started to tick the names off his fingers. "Hermes is trying to track down Odie, who went right to the dogs, literally. He dug up Persephone's garden..."

"Which explains the thunder..."

"Right, and he bolted off the moment Hermes tried to restrain him. Hercules is suppose to be looking for Herry, and Neil wandered off somewhere, no thanks to Aphrodite who was too busy applying a new brand of lipstick to really care. Apollo and Artemis are out for the afternoon so we can't count on any assistance there, and Hephestus has been too busy securing his forge. After Theresa went for Ares swords, we figured the best thing he could do was ensure than no one else gets their hands on anything more lethal. "

"Wonderful." Jay sighed. Turning to Chiron and Hera, he addressed both at the same time. "Is there any way for us to end this?"

"I believe Athena and Persephone should be able to get Dionysus to create a custom cure, however there's no telling how long that will take." Hera shook her head gravely.

"In the meantime, our best bet is keeping them here and having them drink lots of water." Chiron advised. "They should return to normal as soon as the caffeine is out of their systems."

"Great." Jay resisted the urge to slap his hands over his eyes. Suddenly a struggle against Cronus was looking better all the more. "Archie, you and I will search together and see if we can find the others. Chiron, do you think you can keep the girls here while we're gone?"

"I can try." Chiron stamped his hoof. "First though, you might want to deal with the lady warrior over there." A finger pointed towards Theresa, who was now balancing a plate on her finger.

"Right. Ther- Xena, over here!" Jay waved towards his friend. "I need you to sit down for a moment."

"Why?" Theresa narrowed her eyebrows.

"It's uh, part of Ares' latest plot." he threw in. "He's going to do something nasty to people while they're asleep. So you need to lay down and go to sleep so you can fight him."

Archie raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Jay, that's the lamest thing I've ever heard. No one in their right mind would ever..."

"That scum!" Theresa raised her fist, and moved towards one of the couches. "It's just like him! He must be pulling strings with a god of slumber." Without another word, she lay down and closed her eyes, features tight in concentration as her hands remained in solid fists.

Archie blinked and stared.

"Like you said, no one in their right mind" Jay shook his head. Judging by the occasional moving fist Theresa clearly wasn't asleep, but as long as she tried to be it would keep her preoccupied for a time. Beside her in the other couch Atlanta remained still, save for the occasional rise and fall of her breathing chest. Hera watched her vital signs, but made no motion to get her up again. If the caffeine was as powerful as the queen of Olympus suggested, than her slowed-down state wasn't going to last for long. He and Archie needed to round up the others and get a cure, fast.

He turned to look his mentor in the eye. "Archie and I will track down the others. Can the two of you hold the girls here until we get back?"

"Of course," Hera acquiesced.

"Look after them Chiron, we'll bring the guys in here as soon as we can collect them." Giving a last wave, Jay and Archie left the study. "Come on Archie, you said Hermes went after Odie. Let's see if we can find them. If we can get Odie back to normal first, he might have an idea on what to do about the others."

"All I know is if he's still on the canine trip, he'd better not bite me." Achilles' descendant muttered as they turned down a corridor.

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"Down Odie, down!" Hermes whimpered to the short dark teen that was currently tugging on his waist tie by the teeth. The quick-witted and fast flying messenger had managed to catch his disciple in the halls shortly after finding him in Persephone's solarium. Thoughts of facing the queen of the underworld's wrath otherwise did a lot to help his speed and senses, after all.

However, while Hermes had been able to find Odie, catching him and bringing him to Chiron was another story. While usually controlling animals wasn't a problem, because at his roots Odie was a human, Hermes couldn't rely on his caduceus. Suddenly the god of travelers, messengers and thieves was discovering just how rambunctious a dog could be, particularly if set dog was actually an otherwise intellectual teen hero, weighed about as much as a Great Dane, and was feeling twice as frisky. Already he had been led on a merry chase, lost and recovered one of his boots (Zeus help him if someone didn't know how to get saliva and bite marks out of footwear), been unable to stop a series of muddy prints on the wall (Hera was really going to kill him) and now he'd owe a favor to Athena, provided the goddess of weaving could repair his robes.

"Odie let go now! Give it here... giiiiiiive it!" A final forceful tug and Hermes managed to wrestle his garment out of Odie's mouth. In response, the teen let out a playful yip and stood on his haunches, barking loudly before moving his attention to an otherwise unseen tail, spinning around in quick circles. Hermes looked at the ripped material, noting the new teeth holes and salvia spots. While a human's teeth were not quite as sharp as that of a dog, it was still an unflattering sight.

It really wasn't fair.

His only relief was that there were no puddles or other soiled messes to clean up: Odie was apparently housebroken. A smash hit his senses as, during his game of "chase the tail" Odie backed up into a pedestal, the once lovely blue pottery vase atop falling off to hit the ground with an unmistakable sound. Hermes winced. Yes, Odie was certainly house broken; emphases on the broken house.

Odie yelped at the crash and turned around, sniffing anxiously at the now shattered artwork. His human nose unable to quite catch the scents as well as a normal canine might, he moved closer to the strange, foreign objects, getting in an inch too close to one of the shards. A sharp piece of pottery defended itself with a scratch, barely enough to draw blood, onto the boy's nose. Odie's reaction was typical of a youthful beast: he yelped, and jumped back in fear, before letting out an odd growl and starting to bark at the shard for all his might.

Hermes wanted to cover his eyes and wake up from whatever surreal twilight zone he had unwittingly entered.

Barking did not deter the shard, as Odie's current puppy mind assumed it should. This required backup from the rest of the pack, and there was only one way to get it. The teen lifted his head high, and opened his jaws wide.

"ODIE! NO!" Hermes shouted to no avail as his charge let out a high-pitched howl, forcing him to tug on his hat in an effort to further cover his ears. "Odie no! Bad Odie, bad!"

The gryphon hadn't been this much trouble. Where was a rolled up newspaper when you desperately needed it?

Elsewhere down the hall, two others heard the call and came around the corner running. As they approached the scene, both settled down into walking pace, moving up towards Hermes while keeping weary eyes at Odie's howling form.

"Want some help?" Jay pieced together what had just happened as he scanned scene. Clearly, Hermes and Odie had seen better days.

"Jay! Archie!" Hermes resisted the urge to hug either boys or break down crying into their shirts. Instead, he simply clasped his hands in delight and closed his eyes in bliss. "Thank Zeus you boys are finally here! I managed to catch Odie, but I'm, well, " Hermes tugged on his tunic collar and raised his hand, showing a small space between index finger and thumb. "I'm having a liiiiiittle trouble getting him back to Chiron."

Archie glanced between the god's disheveled appearance and the shattered vase at the black boy's feet. "Right, a little trouble... and Talos was a little mechanical warrior." Together the trio watched in amazement as Odie started to roll over on his back, much in the same manner as many a canine would do in the grass, a puddle of mud, or something with a really, really strong odor right after a fresh bath.

"Oh, he is so gone." Jay muttered, shocked at the display.

Hermes's face bowed down in defeat. "I don't know where I went wrong... he's usually such a good kid, but now..."

"Maybe you should add 'sit and stay' to your next lesson plan Hermes." Archie quipped, still transfixed. While watching Odie act like Garfield's nemesis wasn't quite as shocking as some of Atlanta's earlier antics, it was still far too surreal to feel normal.

"Well gentlemen, even though I am a god, I am still willing to listen to advice. Any ideas on how we might calm our new puppy pal?"

Jay placed his hand under his chin and turned to the purple-haired youth beside him. "Good question. First, we need to get him back to Chiron until someone comes up with a cure for all this. Archie," he paused, a vague memory surfacing in his mind, "you lived on a farm right? And you have experience with Timber wolves.."

"Unsuccessful experiences," Archie reminded him, pointing to his leg with the scar.

"I know, but do you know any tricks to calm a dog down?" He winced as Odie returned to his previous game of 'catch the tail'. "Something when we're fresh out of dog biscuits."

Archie paused, scratching his forehead. "Well, there was that one trick that worked on Bingo."

This brought a raised eyebrow from Jay. "Bingo?" He asked incredulously. "Let me guess: you clapped your hands and sang B-I-N-G-O."

"Not quite," Archie chuckled. "Watch this. Here Odie, come here!" He puckered his lips, giving out a small whistle. Odie looked up at him and started to pant. Unfortunately, that wasn't the end of it.

"NO! ODIE STOP! DON'T-" Archie never finished his sentence as someone with two hands and two legs mowed him down, standing above his prone form only to pant heavily. As Odie moved his head down, only the warrior's quick reflexes stopped what would have been otherwise considered certain doom, as his hand received a doggish tongue licking.

"Oh man, we need a leash!" Jay grabbed the smaller boy by the waist and attempted to pull him off of Archie, an exceedingly difficult task considering the weight and energy of their target. "Easy Odie, nice doggie..." Odie turned his head towards Jay and his eyes shifted, their earlier vacant friendliness changing to a more guarded uncertainty. "Niiiiiice Odie, " Jay whistled, as a low growl came to his attention. "Uh, guys?" He looked over towards Hermes and Archie in desperation, "a little help?"

"Nice Odie..." Hermes tentatively reached forward, but retracted his hand when a pair of white teeth snapped down. "Suddenly I miss his chewing phase."

"Don't look at me," Archie glanced at his hand with disgust, wiping saliva off onto his sweater. "I'm not going near him again. Ewwww... I said I didn't want to get bitten, but this is way, way worse!"

"Well someone needs to do something," Jay uttered as he struggled to keep hold on their new pet. "I can't get a good grip without hurting him."

"Someone say they need a good grip? Step aside and leave it to the pros."

Startled by the new voice, Jay, Archie and Hermes whipped their heads around to see two familiar sights walking down the hallway towards his party.

In his heavyweight and no longer glorious might came Hercules, sock feet and all. Time had not been a friend to the demigod hero, with a potbelly and unshaven mass it was a wonder he had once been such a glorified paragon. Years of letting his exercise regiment slide, not to mention a love of savory deep-fried foods had taken out the marvelous physique, which had been the envy of his day. Nevertheless, his experience in matters of monster fighting and wrestling gave him a knowledge even Athena agreed on, making him a fine teacher for his most recent descendant. The descendant, who, to Archie's delight, was walking alongside the old man.

"HERRY!" Archie gaped as the brawny teen walked leisurely down the hall. "Man, am I glad to see you!"

"Herry?" Jay peered carefully at his close friend, more skeptical over the arrival. Although they needed to find the strong hero before he did any damage to himself or others, dealing with two over-caffeinated teens at the time might be more than either he or Archie could chew, particularly given Herry's natural strength. As he looked Herry overhead to toe however, feelings of immense relief washed over his senses. With a calm smile and mug in his hands, Herry looked very much like his usual self-walking towards them. Not a hair was out of place from his typical composure. There was no screaming, dancing or barking: he had a drink in one hand, most likely the accursed caffeine, but Herry and more food was hardly cause for concern.

The teen leader allowed a slight smile. Perhaps, being the largest of the group, the coffee had less effect on his more massive system. Perhaps, just perhaps, he and Archie weren't the only sane heroes around.

Handing Odie to Hermes, who winced in efforts to calm his charge, Jay walked up towards his heavyweight friend, extending one hand. "Herry, man it's good to see you! Glad you're okay buddy."

Herry shook Jay's hand lightly.

"Nay, thyne pleasure is all my own. Prithee, why doust thou remain here, with mighty Odysseus acting like a canine on mid summer's eve?"

Jay withdrew his hand and smacked his forehead, biting his lip to keep a whimper from escaping. He really should have seen that one coming.

Hermes allowed his jaw to drop momentarily, while Archie sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Terrific, and to think here I was worried yesterday about Atlanta over studying for the English mid-term. What did Herry do, memorize every one of Shakespeare's plays?"

"Suddenly my headache just got worse," Jay muttered.

Hercules shook his head as he watched their reactions to his Herry's new speech pattern. "Sorry boys, he's been like that since I found him. Perfectly relaxed, but I can't make head nor tails outta what he's trying to say. I figured I should just get the boy back to Chiron as soon as possible."

"Indeed, the apothecary might finally be there to grant a boon and lift yon fowl spell from mine and our comrades lips."

"..." No one had any response for that one.

A slight bark returned the group's attention to another immediate problem. Hermes winced as Odie pulled against his arm lock, getting enough leverage to scratch against the wall with his fingernails.

"I hate to break up the enlightened conversation, but we really need to get Odie back so he can get his shots."

"Verily," Herry agreed.

"Okay, let's sort everything out." Jay rubbed a hand through his bangs. "Hercules, aside from the fact that he should be auditioning for _Macbeth_, Herry is under control right?"

"No problem," the ancient Greek hero grunted. "He understands us, we just can't understand him."

"Good. Herry?"

"Nay sir?" Herry responded.

"Er," Jay tried not to be taken further aback by Herry's new accent, "let's try using a little muscle on this one. Do you think you can pick up Odie long enough to take him with us to see Chiron? Without hurting him?"

"As the dawn rises each day over the watery oceans, I shall indeed follow mine task to the end."

"I'll take that as a yes," Jay interpreted. "Hermes," he turned to the thin god at his side, who handed Odie to Herry before raising a speedy salute, "fly on ahead to Chiron and Hera, tell them we've got two more patients incoming. Hercules, you lead the way, and Archie and I will take up the rear. Hopefully, if Odie gets loose, the two of us can stall him long enough until you or Herry catch him again."

"Sounds like a plan," the Olympian let out a belch.

Eager to be on the move and no longer warding off his own student, Hermes zipped down the hall, followed at a much slower pace by his half-brother. Odie continued to bark as Herry carried him along, slung over the one shoulder like a bundle of trade goods, but stopped struggling as they continued to move.

Watching Odie's panting face as he followed from behind, Archie couldn't help but turn green over his friend's antics. Odie was a great guy, but much heavier than he looked, and the near miss with the tongue was not something he cared to remember again. No doubt his cheeks were going to flush from embarrassment over this one for a long time. Catching a quick glance at the boy to his side, it was clear his leader wasn't fairing any better, eyes slightly closed and rubbing his temples with his right hand.

"Jay?" he asked casually, his voice containing more exhaustion than he would have liked.

"Hmmm?" One brown eye opened in his direction.

"I don't know about you, but I'd prefer it if neither of us ever mentioned this event ever again."

Jay breathed a sigh of weariness. "Tell you what, let's make a pact..."

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Back in Chiron's study, six teens and four immortals gathered with feelings of concern, agitation, and general disbelief.

Atlanta and Theresa were awake and active again, much to the un-delight of Hera and Chiron, who considered it a great accomplishment that they managed to keep both in the study, and with minimal damage to the statuary or scroll shelves. When they arrived, Jay and Archie were treated to the sounds and sights of an imagined sword fight, the warrior princess and piratess captain each using wood sticks to battle the other, never mind Hera's weary statement that neither she nor Chiron had any idea where set sticks had come from. As the battle continued with neither girl gaining an upper hand, the two boys attempted to settle things by intervening: Archie by grabbing Atlanta's wrists, Jay by trying to hold Theresa from behind. Unfortunately for both boys, the results weren't nearly as effective as they hoped, and the aftermaths were nothing but sad blows to their respective male egos.

Unable to keep his grip on Atlanta or get her to release the long and slightly sharp fighting stick, Archie found himself forced to keep a minimum of three feet between them both. While he maintained as he ran that he really wasn't afraid of Atlanta, and certainly not afraid of sticks, it was the object of her aim that was on the scary side: clearly, Captain Atlanta didn't find aiming below the belt against her buccaneer code. Worse, with her fury fully unleashed he was unable to get close or disarm her without likely causing injury to both in the process. Thus, Archie was running continuously in circles with the fiery huntress-turned-piratess hot on his heels, desperately hoping that she would loose her steam before he did.

Jay faired no better: in his attempt to grab Theresa in an arm-lock from behind, he found himself on the receiving end of an instinctive judo throw. After hitting the cold floor shoulder-first (which hurt like the hard smack from a cyclops' club) he had looked up to see Theresa straddling him at the waste, rage in her eyes while brandishing her "sword" at his neck. Although he was hardly in mortal peril, Jay's normally pale peach features switched to several brilliant hues of red the moment he felt Theresa's legs pinning him down, not to mention after Hercules' snickers and Hera's raised eyebrow. When the brawny mentor asked Jay if he was comfortable, the teen simply blushed harder and refused to answer.

While Archie and Jay remained preoccupied with the girls, Herry released Odie onto the floor, who then bounded after Chiron. To the human puppy, Chiron's half-horse body made him a curious sight, and classified as an unknown beast. That meant an investigation was required, and, since there were others about, he needed to warn everyone about the new animal until he had determined its presence safe for all. Odie did this by standing on all fours behind the beast master and yipping viciously, trying to attract attention and send off a warning sign. This didn't work in the manner expected: the other teens remained preoccupied, while Chiron simply turned around and lent a deaf ear to the noise. Only Hermes remained focused, making pantomime "silence" gestures, and trying to calm his student down. Unfortunately, even Hermes couldn't have predicted Odie's next action: lunging for Chiron's swinging tail.

Chiron reared as teeth made contact, stamping his hoof and glaring at Hermes, before setting his eyes to un-amusement on Odie. Using his staff, he pried the persistent puppy-teen off his person. Hermes held back a whimper of his own, and attempted to regain Odie's attention, only to little avail. Chiron attempted to assist calming the boy down, with similar results. It was with great shock than, that when Hera stepped in with a very stern "stay" command, Odie immediately sat down on his rump and started scratching his ears at her feet.

Being queen of the gods, she explained to Hermes' flabbergasted expression, meant instant respect from all living things, and that besides which fact, certain Olympians had been much more trouble when they were younger.

Only Hercules was able to avoid the study's utter chaos, with Herry's calm attitude making him significantly less a handful than the others. Instead, the former powerhouse simply sat his descendant down for a chat, pretending to the best of his abilities understand the convoluted old English that continued to spew from the boy's mouth. He had no idea who on earth would be insulted by another biting their thumb, or what a Capulet was, but so long as Herry sat down and simply talked rather than, say, attempt to run about, Hercules didn't care.

With all the chaos surrounding them, it was unsurprising that the opening study doors caught all inside unaware. Everyone turned their attention to the entrance, Archie allowing only momentary glances as he continued to dart around, while Jay lay his head down flat against the floor and looked upwards, observing the proceedings in an upside-down fashion.

Athena stepped in first, her makaira drawn as she surveyed the area, raising an eyebrow over the combined antics of the heroes, but saying nothing. Persephone, green with rage and all too ready to strike something down, preferably dead, followed her. White silks trailed on the ground, even as blond locks swayed from an unknown wind source. Her left hand was clenched as tight as her teeth as she ranted and raved, while her right fingers remained firm around an unfortunate ear. The ear belonged to the even more unfortunate Dionysus, who was making an unsuccessful attempt to hide the fear from his eyes. If the god had any objections to being paraded around in such a manner, he was clever enough not to voice them, biting his lip in an effort to keep silent and further remove his dignity by whimpering in pain. He was unable however, to stop the slight rattle of his bow legs, nor the nervous shake of his arms. In his hands, he clapped a single glass vial, holding it near his chest like a shield with all his might.

"And so help me, if you ever allow something like this to happen again..." Persephone's teeth clenched as she left the rest of her sentence in the air; some threats were best left unsaid. Given that this was the queen of the underworld, privy to all the methods of punishment and torture that only Tartarus could provide, it was safe to say her imagination was nothing anyone, god or mortal, would be willing to go up against.

Athena allowed a smug grin to grace her features before addressing Hera directly. "Good news. With a little hard work and some proper _motivation_..." she attempted not to snicker as she observed Persephone's "motivation" in action, "Dionysus believes he has created a cure for our ailing charges."

"Thank Zeus!" Hera rejoiced, clasping her hands together and looking to the heavens in her momentary bliss. " Finally, something to stop this bedlam!"

"A cure! That's GREAT! Now we can-" Jay attempted to rise, but Theresa placed her hands on his upper arms, holding him firm. He winced as he was forced back to the floor: the fighter was a lot stronger than she let on, and he wasn't getting the leverage he needed to lift her off. In desperation, he pointed to the Pegasus statue across the study. "Oh, look, isn't that Ares over there?"'

The result was predictable and efficient, with Theresa doing a solid back flip and whipping her stick around in fury. "Ares, where? I'LL KILL..." Jay ignored the rest of her warrior vows as he lifted himself off the floor, brushing off dust from his sweater before making his way to the trio of gods who promised to end his friends' current lack of sanity.

"Tell us the cure so we can stop this."

"Well, if I could just be allowed to settle.." Athena nodded towards Persephone, who reluctantly released Dionysus's ear and returned to normal. Giving a breath of thanks, he continued, holding up his vial. "In here I've devised a serum using some different sedative herbs and a pinch of Hypnos dust. If taken in a light dose, it should start to slow down the system when it enters the bloodstream and break down some of the adenosine while causing neurons to "switch off" into nap mode."

"It'll put them to sleep?"

"For a while, and it'll help their bodies process the rest of the coffee while they're knocked out. Although, it may give the after-effects of a hangover when they awaken..."

"That's a chance we'll have to take," Jay shared a glance with Chiron and nodded his head. "How do we give it to them?"

"A few oral drops each should be sufficient." Dionysus uncorked the stopper. "I brought enough for several doses, but have the ingredients in my lab if we need to make more." He passed Jay the vial.

"I just hope this works." Jay peered down at the concoction in his hand. Through the glass was a clear blue liquid... nothing too exceptional in appearance, but than again it was 'appearances can be deceiving' that caused all the mess in the first place.

"Here." Chiron stepped over to one of his shelves and pulled down a simple goblet. "Place the cure in this, and we'll have each of our affected friends take a sip."

"Done." Jay poured the liquid into the new container Chiron provided. "Only question is, who goes first?"

"Allow me!" Archie snatched the goblet during another pass by. "Here Captain!" He held up the drink to his pursuer. "Look, more rum!"

"RUM!" Atlanta made a grab for the cup and greedily took a swig, letting out a drunken belch as she did so.

"Oh my!" Dionysus held on to the rims of his glasses as Atlanta crumpled to the floor, her ecstasy short lived when she raised the cup high in celebration even as her legs gave out from under her. Her hands slumping to her sides, Jay and Archie moved in to grab her before the sudden effect of gravity caused her to hit her head on the hard floor beneath. Both teens held their breath briefly, but visibly relaxed as they lifted her on to her feet, each with one arm around his shoulders. Atlanta had clearly succumbed to the potion: with her eyes closed and breaths study, she slept even as they helped her lay down in comfort.

"_Ego anthexomai eis aeras_!" Atlanta hadn't been the only thing to drop. With a have of her hand, Persephone used her telekinetic magic to snatch the potion as it fell, before the bronze hit the ground and spilled it's contents over the floor. Thankfully, the piratess hadn't been able to consume it all.

As they placed her down, Jay and Archie stepped back from their redheaded friend, still weary least she jump up and start to stab at one of them again. As a few moments passed however, it was clear that the only lubbers walking Atlanta's planks were in her own slumber world.

Jay breathed a sigh of relief. "She went out like a light. Looks like a success."

"Indeed." Having watched the proceedings with interest, Hera stepped up beside him. "Now let's administer some to the others quickly, and let them rest. Preferably," she twitched slightly as she caught sight of Odie, no longer in his "stay" position, "before someone gets loose again."

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It didn't take long for the others to be given sips of the potion and allowed to rest: Odie was the most resistant, sniffing the unknown substance carefully when Hermes placed a sample on a clean plate. Herry raised the cup and made an eloquent speech about a Roman senator, which only Hera and Athena appeared to comprehend, while Theresa took a drink to "show that fire trick" which thankfully, with no torches available and the drug's quick action, was never performed. In the end, all four teens lay comfortably on individual couches, while Athena chose to return to the Brownstone to get some fresh aspirin, insistent that her charges would need it when they woke up.

Their friends well on their way to recovery and worry starting to fad, the two heroes Jay and Archie found themselves sitting down on a pair of provided chairs, as they took it easy and they watched their friends adrift in dreamland.

"Hard to believe everything was in such chaos earlier," Jay mused, watching the rise and fall of four sleeping chests and unconscious kicks of feet. "Man, thank the gods I didn't drink that stuff. Somehow, I don't really think I want to know what would have happened."

"You and me both. Personally, I'm giving three cheers for immortal immunity." Archie agreed, resting his elbows on his knees. "Think they'll remember anything when they wake up?"

"Hard to say," Jay placed a hand under his chin, considering. "To be honest, I'm not sure if it would be good if they remember. Heck, between nearly getting cleaved in two and play time with the puppy, I'm not sure I want to remember." His face flushed as he recalled the details over again in his mind.

"Good point." Archie fingered a stain on his sweater with disgust. "I know every situation we get through makes us stronger, but this is one memory I wouldn't mind getting rid of."

As he observed his five friends, something nagged Jay in the back of his head. "Speaking of which," Jay brushed his bangs back and squinted, viewing the room in a lightly different light, "I can't help but feel like we've forgotten something..."

The eyes of both teens shot up as they turned to each other, utter shock and horror etched on their faces at they cried out in unison.

"NEIL!"

"Oh man," Archie felt a nervous unsettling sensation in his stomach. "If that coffee did... this... " he gestured to the now unconscious quartet, "to all of them, can you imagine what it would do to someone with an already low tolerance like him?"

"Unfortunately, I think we have to." Jay grabbed Archie by the shoulder, and they made their way out the doors.

Knowing that resistance was futile Archie followed along, but continued to drag his heels. "Figures, the one time I forget about the guy is when we need to find him. Do you have any idea how many times I try to zone him out when he's going on about his looks?"

"I can hazard a guess," Jay replied wryly. While the generally difficult Archie had made great strides getting along with his team-mates since he first arrived, it was agreed by all that he and Neil simply didn't mix. "Let's head over to Aphrodite's sanctuary: maybe he's looking through her mirrors." Looking at himself was certainly the descendant of Narcissus's favorite hobby.

"Let's hope he didn't get into Aphrodite's closet." Archie quipped as they made their way through the main foyer. "If he's become a born-again drag queen, I'm going to seriously gag."

Jay stopped in his tracks, a half choke coming from his throat. "Actually, let's pretend he did." The teen swallowed with unease. "It might make a prettier picture."

"What do you mea-?"

Archie never had a chance to finish his sentence as he caught sight of the lone figure standing three feet outside the opened doorway.

There stood the errant supermodel, draped in nothing but a helmet, tablecloth cape, and fierce look of determination.

The two sane teens tried hard to keep their throats from collapsing in horror.

Spotting them with his blue eyes, Neil dipped his head. In his right arm he brandished a broomstick, raising it high in greeting. "For the glory of Sparta!"

"Oh gods," Archie placed a hand over his eyes while Jay continued to wince. "May this image be erased from my memory by the time this is over."

Neil puffed up his chest in pride. "Tonight, we dine in hell!

A deep sign escaped Jay's lips, as he looked up in defeat.

"Well, that clenches it. Next time I think Cronus is going to take over the world, I'll just have the team load up on prime Olympian espresso. Between Spartan soldiers, warrior princesses and plundering pirates, he won't stand a chance."

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_End_


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